Friends and Neighbors

My neighbor came over for dinner on Friday. On one hand this seems like a perfectly natural thing to do for most neighbors, but I should mention that she is the neighbor I’ve reported to the police not once but three times. She’s the neighbor whose trash drifts over to my home. She’s the neighbor who is the reason for my planting the now dead trees as a hedge between our homes.

“That” neighbor came over for dinner on Friday. You must be wondering what brought about this change in momentum.

The thing is that I finally talked with her. I mean really talked with her. I don’t know why it took me so long to realize this, but the best way to get to know someone is to talk to them. Yep, take my word for it, you can look at them, you can size them up, or you can act like they don’t exist. But the only sure way to get a glimpse into someone’s soul is to actually talk with that person.

It’s not as hard as it looks.

First, you’ve got to get positionally close to that person. A few days prior to her coming over, I actually walked over to the dead trees in a final attempt to revive them with my broken water hose. The trees are still dead, but my strategic position near the neighbor’s home presented the perfect opportunity to speak to her.

Second you’ve got to practically talk to them. Open your mouth and speak some words in the general direction of that person. You may think you’ve got nothing in common with the person in question, but you will surprise yourself by the random trivia that comes up between neighbors.

Like, for instance, when I opened my mouth and said hello, my neighbor told me she hasn’t had a job since March, and was engaged to a man who broke up with her. I’ve been engaged before. Bingo.

Third, you’ve got to painfully get out of your comfort zone. Here’s the real deal: I like my privacy. I like the trees between my house and my neighbors. I like minding my own business. I am usually short on time and high on tasks. If it looks like coloring outside of the lines I assure you it is painful to me. It was already late on that particular night. I almost didn’t water the plants. I almost just watched TV instead. But I had paid for the trees and already felt guilty about their state. I had no choice but to get out of my comfort zone for them.

The rest as they say is history.

Lastly, you’ve got to plan steps of kindness toward that person. Acts of kindness don’t magically appear. You’ve got to think about them and make them happen. You’ve got to bake the cookies then take them over, you’ve got to pack your bags to go on vacation, and you’ve got to place the order before the shipment is made. Plans are essential for friendships to develop. I happened to have planned a party on Friday night. In a split second I made an executive decision. Why not invite my new friend over to the party?

I did. She came. Today she is no longer just my neighbor. She is also my friend.

How are your relationships with people going for you? How is your relationship with Jesus going for you? Is it time to take some steps of action in order to deepen those relationships?

It’s simple: Position yourself close, open your mouth practically, painfully get out of your comfort zone, and plan acts of kindness.

You’ll find friendship is not as hard as it seems!

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