Looking for Big Things

I live in a town where nothing ever really happens.

Kids go to school in the morning. They gather at the local park for soccer games on Sundays. Families go for walks in the neighborhood on warm summer nights. The smell of Barbeque permeates the air on the weekends. People work hard, every day. And local businesses eke out a living year after year.

So when something big happens like a guy from my town becomes the next american idol, it’s a very big thing.

I live a life where nothing ever really happens.

I get up in the morning and read my Bible. I run. I try to formulate my thoughts for another blog entry. I go to lunch with a friend. I have the occasional party. I trim trees, water plants and once in a while I cook. I take my nephews out to the local ice cream shop. And once a year I go out on a date.

It can be drudgerous. It can be monotonous. It can be discouraging.

I want big things in my life and I want them now.

So I find myself trying to force them to happen.

Like when I got engaged then broke off my engagement.

Or I try to manipulate God into making them happen.

I pray. When He delays I threaten.

I pout. I sink in self pity.

Then I beg. A lot.

Finally I listen.

“He makes everything beautiful in His time.” Ecclesiastes 3:11

I’m learning to trust God in the monotony of life. I’m learning that my heart’s yearning for big things isn’t always from God. I’m learning that behind every delay and every pause is a God who loves me. I’m learning that His pleasure is in my faithful obedience and joyful attitude even when every one of my self centered expectations remains unfulfilled.

And that’s a very big thing.

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