Dumb ER Questions

Parents often ask me a very interesting question.

They say: “Doctor, should I be worried about ____________?”

You name it, I’ve heard it. Parents worry. People worry. I thought I’d share the most common worries I hear parents verbalize in the ER and my thoughts on the questions.

Doctor should I be worried that my 2 year old bangs his head against the wall when he doesn’t get what he wants?

A.    It depends – how hard is the banging in your opinion?

Doctor should I be worried about this 10 inch gash on my daughter’s forehead leaving a scar?

A. Well, let me think about this one….of course it’s going to leave a scar!! And it won’t be my stitching that’s the problem, it’s that 10 inch gash I’m starting at.

Doctor should I be worried about my kid being able to play professional football after this hairline fracture?

A.    Yes, but not because of the hairline fracture. I’d be much more worried about the fact that he’s the skinniest and shortest kid his age I’ve seen all day.

Doctor should I be worried about the swine flu?

A.    That’s so last decade. Get the times. Even H1N1 has come and gone.

Doctor should I be worried about my kid’s fever?

A.    I’ve already explained to you that 99 degrees is not a fever. But if you don’t believe me, go ahead and worry.

Doctor is my kid going to die?

A.    More than likely he will end up dying, but not anytime soon and certainly not from this cold he’s here for.

They say there are no dumb questions in the world. I’m not sure about that. But for every dumb question, there may be an equally dumb answer. Do you have any questions for this doctor?

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