March 1, 2011 with 10 Comments

279.

Gone

Nancy Ryan died over the weekend.

Most of the world did not notice. I didn’t find out that this dear dear friend of mine left this earth until yesterday. As a Christian you think you know all the facts about death and eternity. The reality is not as easy to deal with. This poem came out of trying to reconcile what I know to be true with the immense sadness that I feel.

I want to know why
Why life is so short
and memories float
down rivers of tears
and friends disappear
when no one is near
and thoughts disagree
serenity flees

 

I want to know where
Where souls fly away
Through clouds turning gray
Eternity waits
And questions sustain
The mind that remains
Suspended in space
Hoping for grace

 

I want to know when
When answers will bring
The hope that will cling
Uncertainty’s sting
Its shackles to free
and faces to see
all heaven decrees
forever in peace

 

I want to know how
How quietly one
So gentle so proud
Refuses to drown
In sorrow so loud
Surrenders the bough
While folks all around
Relentlessly bound

 

I want to know what
What matters the most
The end of the race
and each has a place
so little to boast
there has to be more
I know there is more
A sacrifice born

 

I wrote another piece about nancy right after she retired. She loved that piece so much and often told me. Here it is.

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In Poetry, Uncategorized

  • Miryan Guillo

    Hola Lina, I still can imagine Nancy coming in to the ER trough the double doors, smiling and leaving her fresh perfume behind. Always nice, Her soft voice”good morning darling”… When She retired, as a gift, I painted a Daisy for Her in pastel colors and She was very emotional, her eyes were watery when She saw it, She use to love daisies.I’ll bring her one on saturday I hope to see you at the memorial service. Miryan

  • Lisa Mathey

    Beautiful poem Lina…

  • Janis

    Lina, Thank you for a beautiful poem for a beautiful life! We are all better people for having known Nancy! It was truly a priviledge!

  • Jackie Corboy

    I can only believe that God had bigger plans for her. It was truly a blessing to have known such a devout and principled soul in todays world – they are truly hard to come by….thank you so much for your beautiful poem, Lina. Now I’m teary starting my shift at NCH….

  • Maureen

    Lina,

    That is a beautiful poem, as is the piece you wrote when Nancy retired. I don’t think anybody could have stated it better: She defined grace in so many ways… and instilled it in those she loved so much, including you. You two had such a special relationship – and it was an honor to witness it from time to time :-) I laugh recalling that night at Tank when she had to calm you down … and the next time at Tank when she had to calm me down.. We are all better people for having known her. She will be truly be missed, but never forgotten! Love, Maureen

  • Brittney

    i’m very sorry to hear about your friend.
    thank you for sharing the nice poem.
    praying for you.

  • Anne

    So sorry to hear about your loss. Thoughts & prayers going out for you now

  • ramzi

    I feel sorry for your loss too.

    However, I can’t help but say this. It is thru events such as these that one’s faith shines. If christianity is true, and if one believes it, then that person’s reaction must be different than a nonbelievers. That it is not must be occasion for us to examine what we really believe. Thanks

  • Janice Lindquist

    Nancy Ryan has been my bosom friend for almost 20 years. I was the recruiter who hired her at Children’s. As I sat here tonight, while yet another in a series of unrelenting waves of grief washed over me, I realized that I didn’t have one photograph of her on which I could lay my hands. All throughout the day, while I repeatedly heard her voice, I struggled to truly visualize that sparkling countenance. Then, I remembered your blog — Nan shared with me your post about her retirement. She spoke of you often; you were very precious to her. I logged on and there she was. Thank you for giving her back to me for a precious moment.

  • Sndy

    Nancy was truly a special person and she will be deeply missed! She touched so many lives and the poem you wrote about her is beautiful!