Holiday Expectations

This holiday season give yourself a break and expect trouble.

I’m not being cynical or mean. I’m being honest to God dead serious. This week, as you enter the holy grail of family festivities and holiday hoorah, expect trouble. You’ll thank me for it later.

I speak from experience. We’re only two days into the week and I’ve already plugged up the toilet in my parents’ bathroom. Turns out I know how to fix that kind of plumbing problem. And if you’re wondering why I’m home so early in the week, it’s because I’ve swallowed my temporary crown. No, not the crown on my head – I’m talking about the crown in my mouth, leaving me with a gaping hole the size of Texas in my upper left quadrant. But perhaps I should thank my dentition for failing me early enough for me to be ready for Turkey day and its trimmings.

To make matters worse, this is the second run on this blog post since I’ve managed to finish the first and accidentally erase it – my favorite thing to do on an already busy morning.

Yes, holiday trouble is sure to come, and having a mind to expect it is the first step towards sanity.

I know some of you reading this bog may be a little disappointed in this harsh reality. You’re still dreaming of the perfect meal with the perfect turkey moist enough on the inside, and brown enough on the outside. Or perhaps you’re single and sure that this year is the year your Mr. Perfect will show up somewhere between thanksgiving and Christmas and you’ll find yourself in that perfect moment on Christmas Eve under the mistletoe with a soft blanket of snow on the ground around you and an elf smiling in the bushes.

But that would be the hallmark channel you’re thinking of and that late night movie you stayed up to watch.

For folks like you and me living on this side of reality, expect long airport lines, creepy airport pat downs and an overdressed elderly man in a parka and lace up shoes in front of you in line at O’hare.

Forrest Gump was wrong. Life isn’t a box of chocolates. I like to think of it as a box of grapes, most very sour, but some sweet ones thrown in, and an occasional slivers of chocolate in the mix.

I’m not being scrooge. I’m telling the truth, and most of you know it. And the truth is that walking into an open field knowing it’s a landmine increases your chance of survival over walking into it blind folded and unaware.

This holiday season, expect trouble and work around it.

Make it your responsibility to find those sweet grapes and linger over them. Look for the sliver of chocolate, and share it with someone else. Turn off that TV, and live out your own hallmark movie. Get out of your desired fantasy, and what Hollywood tells you this season is all about, and get into your Bibles and live out God’s reality for a change.

Live. Give. Love.

Trouble may come, and trouble may go. But God’s word never changes.

And most of all, if you’re flying home, dress light.

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