Intimacy

I had an impromptu late dinner with three of my married friends recently and learned a whole lot more than I had anticipated.

Married people are a special breed to us singles. They have what we think we want. They do the things we wish we did. And I mean that in every imaginable way you can think. And they complain about it.

It’s a funny phenomenon. Even the ones who love their husbands seem to want to throw them out from time to time. Even the ones who are deeply committed to the men in their lives would hesitate to jump into matrimony given a second chance.

Hearing them admit this reality takes the sting out of being single, I’ll have to confess, but it still baffles my simple mind. As many of the readers of this blog have come to find out, I’m endlessly fascinated by the topic of relationships, and particularly the relationship between a man and a woman. I’m sure it stems from the lack thereof in my life, but that’s a whole other story.

Meanwhile, I wanted to explore this marital tension as I choose to call it. I don’t believe it’s marital dissatisfaction. That would be too strong a word, but I would definitely call the husband/wife relationship one with a deep tension.

Lucky for me one of my friends teaches a class on being a good wife. And even more lucky for me, she recently informally surveyed the women in her class as to the greatest challenges they face while being a wife. The answer to her survey was inevitably the same. I mean across the boat, no questions asked, complete agreement as to the top 2 reasons for marital tensions:

1. Communication Issues

2. Intimacy Issues

I couldn’t believe my ears. Sex and talking. In some ways it should be pretty obvious. Men want one without the second, and women refuse one without the second. Men need one to have the second while women need one to have the second as well. Unfortunately, the order of need is diametrically opposed in men and women.

Somewhere in the process, the two must meet. You figure that one out and you’re on to a great marriage.

The real question is why would a single gal like me walk away from this conversation with a sense of amazement?

It didn’t take long for me to think about my relationship with the Lord. After all, in the Bible God uses marriage between a man and a woman as a picture of the relationship between Christ and the church.

There are two major dynamics that affect my walk with God: communication and intimacy. Now, obviously I’m not talking about physical intimacy, but emotional and spiritual intimacy. If I don’t communicate with the Lord, I have no sense of closeness. And if I want to develop a deep intimacy with God, communication – or in other words prayer – is mandatory.

Think about this the rest of the day: God communicated intimacy with us when He sent His only Son Jesus Christ to die for our sin.

That’s the message of the cross. Jesus in my place. The result is an unparalleled intimacy with God through His son Jesus for those who embrace the cross.

Communication and Intimacy. You can’t have one without the other.

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