January 18, 2012 with 24 Comments

495.

My Thoughts on Sex

I haven’t written about sex in a while, and I’m feeling a little left behind by the Evangelicals.

Since my last blog post about sex, Pastor Mark has published a book on marriage that covers a healthy section on sex, and pastor Ed Young in Dallas has started his Sexperiment, that’s not counting the myriad blogs that have followed in opinion and discussion.

Sex is hot, no pun intended, and I won’t be left out.

But wait…I can’t talk about sex. I’m single.

I can’t think about sex.

I can’t look at sex.

I can’t even try sex.

All I can do is hope that some nice guy marries me so I can jump in on the discussion.

Or not.

Look, when it comes to sex, I believe we’ve gotten it all wrong.

The issue isn’t whether the Song of Solomon is to be taken literally or allegorically.

The issue isn’t what’s specifically permissible within the context of a heterosexual marriage.

The issue isn’t even whether God likes sex.

I believe with all my heart the problem our society has with sex is that we think about it way too much.

I get the progressive pastors’ arguments. They think we don’t talk about it enough in the church and that many questions remain unanswered. Well I got news for you, pastors: us singles are glad you don’t.

As long as sex remains the highest standard of joy in our culture we will remain empty and dissatisfied.

Our souls will never find complete satisfaction no matter the position or the frequency or the depth of intimacy with another person.

We were made for more.

Until we start believing that, we will forever remain an empty shell looking for simply another thrill.

I’m a single Christian, and I don’t think I’ll ever read the Song of Solomon again.

Ever.

Related posts:

In Purity, Relationships, Sex

  • Milo

    It is alright to read rhe song of Solomon, but true our joyandfull satisfaction comes from theLord. he only can meet and satisfy all our needs.

    • Lina

      Mom- you didn’t teach me what bible teachers are now saying about the songs….you may change your mind about letting me read it if you knew….

      • amber

        LOL…..WOW Lina

  • Lori Ridder

    Amen Lina… Well said, and very true. Striving after joy, elation, satisfaction in desires of the flesh is an empty pursuit. Our true and lasting joy is in Christ. And sadly, I know this from personal experience, searching for that missing piece in my life before Christ in what the world told me would satisfy me, I only left myself scarred and broken. Praise God that He pursued me with a redeeming love!

  • Gina

    1st thankful there wasn’t a picture.my.face is red.enough right now when I read the topic. 3rd good message.

    Lina, I liked what you also said at the end.

    We were made for more

    • Suzanne M.

      Ha.. thanks Lina.. and for the journal too! Its helping me to get out of the pit. I am reading Marks Driscolls new book. So far, so good. It is a constant battle in my life this sex issue. Its what I want but I am constantly in the middle of the struggle.. Friends keep telling me Christ is sufficient yet being alone is tough. I do not think it is Gods way at all this being alone.. Why don’t men step up is the issue.Sometimes, I think God wants me to be constantly tempted with having something I am not supposed to want. ugghh.. Its a tough one!..

  • Gina

    P.s I also liked Milo and Lori Ridders input too.

  • Gina

    being alone isn’t all bad if ur surrounded by the right things & people. However I just may buy a bird or fish after reading the comments 2day. Have a good day.

    • Lina

      Suzanne- I agree with Gina! Come be with the right people! We have bible study on Tuesday nights! Would love to have you join us and be a part of a small group!
      Your struggle is not unusual in our sex saturated world. Keep looking to the Lord. He is sustaining you. Praying much for you!

      • Suzanne M.

        Hey.. we posted at the same time.. I will think about it..
        Thanks!

    • Suzanne M.

      I am constantly surrounded by nonbelievers that have relationships yet the God of Heaven has denied this to me. I disagree with my leaders.. being alone is not Gods way.. singleness.. is not Gods way either. I had someone tell me because Jesus was single, tempted yet did not fall, and alone and we should be like Jesus, I need to learn contentment.. NEWS FLASH…. I am not like Jesus… I am a sinner… who constantly struggles with sin,, I need grace..

      • Lina

        Well you’re in luck bc his grace is SUFFICIENT or you, his strength is made perfect in weakness. Ps I get 1st dibs on the first available single guy. Just saying.

  • Gina

    Ha Lina stand in line sister Director,Er Dr.could u have anymore titles :)

  • Leilani

    Amen! I agree our culture is too sex crazy. Thank you Lina, for your encouragement today. You may disagree, but being married does not make it easier, you just have different issues.

    • Lina

      I actually totally agree Leilani.

  • Tina

    Girl! Oh no you di-int.
    Great post. I agree with your momma. Don’t allow others interpretation of Song of Solomon to taint yours.
    All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: 2 tim 3:16

    • Lina

      Mama’s always right and some would say…priceless..

      • Tina

        ah! you’re good. and hilarious.

  • Tanya

    I will be praying for you single ladies. I am a happily married mother of 5 (not rubbing it in, I promise), but until this post I’ve never given much thought to those who are single and struggle with this. And, Leilani is right, marriage just brings it’s own set of issues, esp. with having your man trying not to be inundated with this sex-crazed culture and trying to be strong and pure as Christ would have. He has more to lose than the single guy (not spiritually speaking, just with the family, etc….) Great post, Lina!

  • amber

    WOW, what a topic! I too can say I will never read Song of Solomon again, but I also think it show me what can happen when God writes you love story. :)

  • Gina

    Um 4 the record here and this topic 2day.I now have a dozen birds 1 fish.golden hen. Not so lonely now. Serious note great message. Much needed for some.have a great night. Thank-you for blessing my every morning with important messages and @ times putting some smiles and laughs in there.

  • Tammy

    Lina, u crack me up, just now reading. I agree w/your mom, Lori + the married gals. I am single longer than u sista – never married + seems forever learning to be content + choose to love my single life for now. Yes, desire to be married/have a family of my own someday. Too much talk on sex but it is the world/culture we live in, being tempted is all around us. Suzanne, I can relate, u r right – totally understand – life is tough + whether single or married. And true love in a marriage now we are talking that is something I look forward to someday Lord willing of course. But sex is not all it is cracked up to be, I know some getting divorced + even married women who feel alone, just cause you got a spouse does not mean you are not lonely, sometimes it is worse. Please keep in mind, the grass is not greener on the other side. That is a lie – false to think it is easier/better over there then here. We need to learn to live life to the fullest while enjoying the moment God has for us, otherwise we miss the God opportunities, His blessings, Abiding in the presense of the Lord! Love the song, ‘Better is one day in His courts then a thousand elsewhere’ And His Word: “Delight in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart”…please look that verse up- read before + after it. “Seek 1st the Kingdom of God and everything else shall be added”… What do these verses mean to us personally? How do I apply it with how I am feeling today? I believe think on things that are pure, good, praiseworthy,etc. Renewing our mind so we are not conformed to this world or this way of thinking, living, being. I think of that worship song we just did Tuesday- Stronger…Please know you are not alone. Peaceb2u :) urloved2

  • Alethea

    Hmmm this is an interesting topic! Hah. I view sex of the world way way different from the gift of sex that God has given us. The world’s version of sex is perverse and enslaving. It has such an appealing 1st impression and then leaves one unsatisfied and empty. This version surely is not the same thing as the gift from God of sex in the context of godly marriage. I do think that sex isn’t talked about enough in the church, but I don’t think that the pulpit is the right place for it, but rather in small groups or something like them. We need accountability for living a life of purity both within and out of marriage. I have more to say, but my iPod is dying. sincerely, Alethea Wiebe

  • Vertina

    i had to laugh out loud on your last statement. I’m with you. It was horrible when my pastor taught thru Song of Solomon on wed nights, verse by verse. Yeahhh.. i was mysteriously absent those nights. holy moly! single, not dead. But I love my pastor and he’s teaching from Genesis now :)