The Art of Listening

I’m sorry, what did you say?

Ah yes, listening. The lifelong challenge. Being the youngest of 4, I regularly felt I wasn’t listened to by my siblings growing up. Whether that be from constant interrupting, or just the overall passive disregarding of what I had to say. I often felt like people thought, “what do you know, you’re just ___ yrs. old.” That has made me more sensitive to being interrupted in conversation. Naturally, I try to be more sensitive and avoid doing that to other people now. Today’s blog reminded me of a journal entry I wrote last year when I learned some similar lessons at work. Here is an excerpt from it:

Listening is more than refraining from speech until someone is finished talking. It has nothing to do with your agenda, and EVERYTHING to do with someone else’s. It’s a concerted effort to put on another person’s shoes, and see things from their perspective. Not having to agree necessarily, but consciously trying to understand it. Devoid of your own opinion (that’s the hard part). Not thinking of the top 10 things you want to say next (while they’re talking) to convince them to get on your bandwagon about something. Sometimes listening also involves allowing another to (literally) say something, even if you know what it is they’re going to say before they say it (i.e. when talking to a child). Sometimes, I think God wants to use us as listeners to/for other people. But we often want to be the speaker instead. We think that by active speaking (vs. active listening) we’re somehow achieving more His kingdom and glory. When in reality, we probably do less. It’s important to ask yourself what you think God wants to use you for. Often times, it’s not what we want to be used for. It’s little things that we’re unaware of. Things that become someone else’s “steps” toward Christ. Things that we’ll likely never find out had any meaning or value in someone‘s life.
Personally, I can think of things that people did for me years ago that assisted in my process toward Christ (i.e. more listening vs. talking). Things these people probably don’t even recall. People I have not seen since, don’t know where they are now, and likely wouldn’t remember me anyway if I saw them. But it doesn’t change the fact that God used them to bring me closer to Him. And that’s where the joy and rest stem from in a situation like this. Just learning to be content in obedient living to Christ—each day that he lets us live. Whether it’s ministry in church, or interacting with a complete stranger. Independent of circumstances.

“My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you.”

-James 1:19-21