August 3, 2011 with 11 Comments

403.

Advice on Dating and Breaking Up

As I was reflecting on life, faith, and happiness, it occurred to me that I haven’t written about relationships in at least a couple of weeks.

And since I consider myself a social philanthropist of sort, there is nothing I’d rather do than share with you some lessons about dating from my own personal experience.

Now I realize that this post may pertain to single people a little more than it will to you marrieds, but don’t worry, I’ll address some marital concerns real soon here, so bear with us a bit today.

The truth is that dating is hard. Ask any single person. There’s nothing harder than trying to figure out what to wear on a first date, or what food to order, let alone what to talk about.

And that’s for the lucky few who actually land a first date.

What I’ve observed is that because dating is so hard, and because it’s so near impossible to actually find a single compatible life partner, many single Christians tend to say yes to the first person who is brave enough to pop the infamous question.

I know.

I’ve been there.

Twice.

And because of my vast experience in the art of breaking up engagements, I’d like to share Ten Lessons on dating and breaking up.

1. If you sense a red flag, it’s because it’s really there.

2. The things you don’t like about him will only get worse after the wedding.

3. It takes a second to say “yes” and a lifetime to mean it.

4. When in doubt – don’t!

5. The saying “you’re not just marrying the man, you’re marrying the family too” is true. Heed it.

6. The longer you wait to break up the harder it will be.

7. Just because you say yes to the engagement doesn’t mean you must go through with the wedding.

8.It’s easier to break up without facebook status updates every step of the way.

9. If it looks too good to be true, it probably is.

10. When you do break up an engagement, cancel every wedding related detail right away. Don’t wait. You will second guess yourself if you do.

And because I’m all about giving, here’s one last thing I’ve learned from breaking up:

Time does heal all wounds.

Share any additional thoughts on how to make dating and breaking up easier in the comment section.

Disclaimer: The opinions of the author expressed herein do not necessarily state or reflect those of the available single Christian white female and shall not be acknowledged or denied in person.

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  • Sophie Neri

    Great post Lina and so true.

    Just a couple additional thoughts:

    1.Don’t have this notion that things may change or he/she may change after the wedding, what you see is what you get, people change only if THEY want.

    2. If this is what your gut is telling you stick with it, don’t let anyone try to convince you otherwise

    See you soon

  • Ana-Maria

    I like your disclaimer!

  • Becky H

    You will have to check out this video of my daughter that we took last night…. at the foot of the cross.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qavzDQ1C_Rs

  • Gina-Skyline

    Hi:) Oh engagements yes 2xs I called it off cuz it didn’t feel right. Happy I did.Not to say they were bad it just didn’t feel right 4 me.

  • RAM

    Been there!!  This post is a must for every single Christian girl. Girls can really get tripped up with the whole “he is a Christian” thing and it can be very confusing and makes for a lot of second guessing when u know you should break up. 

    I would add that God does not want us to be a martyr in marriage. Some of us are called to difficult circumstances in our marriages but if you are dating someone and it seems difficult- if a short honeymoon is followed up with a lot of exhausting work… Then it’s time to put on your sneakers and run!

  • Gina-Skyline

    Amen ram.

  • http://ZCxz Milo

    Good advice. Better break an engagement than suffer through marriage. Marriage is very hard to do, if it is not the right one, it is not worth it.

  • Leilani

    I just had to comment on this one. The day before my wedding, the pastor who performed the ceremony, challenged me. He said, “If you are not sure call everything off right now because I am accountable to God for who I bring together in marriage.”

    I so appreciate your post today. Many ladies see red flags, but get caught up in the wedding so much so that they fail to plan for the marriage. You have given singles something to ponder today.

  • Gina-Skyline

    My experience. Weddings can be all you imagined.everything you wanted or thought. When the priest said does anyone. My family stood up. I looked @ my mom&sis.I knew right there properly end that part. We talk but nor alot.

  • Rose

    Quite timely considering I’m dealing with a broken heart, but I praise God for not allowing me to have peace in the relationship. All was wrong from day one yet I thought he would change. I allowed myself to believe a lie for many selfish reasons.

    Thank you Jesus we were not married. I now see the truth and doing much introspecting as well as and most importantly clinging to Him for healing and strength.

    Ladies take heed much pain can be avoided if you continue to follow truth, stay connected and JOIN A SMALL GROUP. My small group has been a blessing!!!!!

  • Amber

    Amen Sister! Amen Sister! I’m going to share this with my small group girls. Thank you, you even made my mom laugh. The best part was I got to talk to her about that like it was one of my girlfriends.