May 14, 2011 with 24 Comments

341.

The Token Single Guy

I just found out some devastating news: Donald Miller is seeing someone.

It doesn’t matter that Donald Miller lives in Portland while I live in Chicago. It doesn’t matter that he’s a bit of a liberal where I tend to be conservative. It doesn’t matter that he likes flannel and community living and vegetarianism and I don’t.

It doesn’t matter that I’ve never met Donald Miller and likely never will.

All that matters is that Donald Miller was my token single guy until two days ago, when I found out that he just started seeing someone.

If you’re single you know exactly what I’m talking about. I bet you’ve even felt it before. It’s that moment when your token single guy finally finds that special someone and you realize it’s not you.

You see, for years you’ve consoled yourself with the knowledge that your token single guy is somewhere out there waiting for you.

I know. It’s lame. Only losers do this. But take a moment and picture this: it’s Friday night. You’ve got nothing to do. You find a rerun of a romantic comedy on TBS and your only company are your two best friends Ben and Jerry.

But it’s ok, because deep in your heart you know that Donald Miller is still out there somewhere, waiting for you.

Until a couple of days ago, when Donald Miller decided to start seeing someone.

How could he do this to me?

I guess I’m going to have to find a new token single guy. But maybe this time I’ll make sure my token single guy is unattractive and not too smart. I’ll also pick someone with a bad personality. I’ll need my token single guy to be there for me for the long haul.

Or maybe this time I should consider a real guy.

Maybe, just maybe, it’s time for me to step out of my imaginary world with its imaginary people and actually develop real relationships.

And maybe it’s time for me to stop being that token single girl for someone out there too.

Maybe. Or maybe not.

The world is full of possibilities.

Related posts:

In Dating, Singleness

  • Suzanne

    Funny Doc!.. I totally relate after another Friday night alone. There are many guys out there just not of the believing type. People comment to me on small groups like they are the answer to my problems. I am actually in one that good with some families. I have been in a women’s small group as well. Small groups are fine, but they do not meet the need for family of your own and a personal relationship with someone. Even the desire for touch..Lets pray for our relationships! I am serving a lot as well… this does not fill the desire either.

  • Gina

    Wow.well said Doc. Funny,touching but so true. I still think you have a twin that helps accomplish all you do. Have a wonderful day!

  • Denise Archambault

    God probably “reassigned” Donald because He just didn’t want you to settle on something less, even in your imaginary world. And when you think about it, your friends Ben and Jerry bring a LOT to the mix.

    But honestly, what I think might be going on, is that God is still preparing your guy…..he is going to have to be REALLY special, and that takes time….time well spent. Tell you what – starting today I will start praying that this guy is blessed with the ability to be a quick learner.

  • E-Dub

    My friday night pals are Smith and Wesson.

    • Lina

      Ur sicker than I am!

  • http://framechangers.com Jen

    You and other single friends of mine make me want to be the “Christian Matchmaker”. Do you think I should and you could be my first client? I am not kidding! After 15 years of successful corporate recruiting matching candidates to jobs, I would love the ultimate matching men and women who love the Lord. I should redesign my framechangers website to interested people instead of artwork! Let me know what you think… 1 Cor 3:6

    • Lina

      Come on Jen. We are waiting for you. Just bc you have a dozen kids is no excuse not to get started!

    • Lin

      Like!

    • Amber

      Can I be next in line after Lina? Please :-)

  • Lin

    It does baffle me why there are single people within the church who haven’t met each other and developed relationships. I’m not trying to be insensitive. I’m just baffled. Expectations too high? Or not wanting to get hurt….again? Makes me wonder about arranged marriages. I know of several that are solid marriages; not the fairytale kind but they appear functional and one i know have found love for one another within that arranged marriage. They are marriages not based on Christ sadly, but marriages nonetheless. Those marriages arranged by parents who in essence ‘interviewed’ the prospective spouse n their family to see if it was a good fit. Could that be something arranged by the church? Is that Christian man a good fit for that Christian woman?
    I think most women look for a man that is as close as possible to …..Jesus, before we consider him as a possibility. I’m married and often I measure my husband to Jesus and he falls short. Duh! I forgot to measure myself up to Jesus. When I do measure myself to Christ, I realize my husband n I are a perfect match. My current facebook motto is ‘a woman’s heart should be so hidden in Christ that a man should have to seek Him first to find her.
    Now i’m thinking women are so demanding of a godly perspective husband that we lose the focus which must be on ourselves and Christ.

    • Lina

      Good words linda! But u have to admit Donald is as close to Jesus as they come!

      • Lin

        did I miss something? Donald is imaginary, isn’t he? Jesus is not!

        • Lina

          Linda!! Donald Miller is as real as it gets! He wrote “blue like jazz”!! Why do you think I’m so depressed!? Ha!
          But I’m over it. I just went shopping and found a bunch of great deals on tops instead!

          • ramzi

            millions of single women love Donald. There is something about being successful, that makes even the most unlikeable seem likeable. Take Miller and make him unsuccessful (as millions others who tried to author books and didn’t make it)…you would be laughing at him. There is beauty in many men. Take time to look and find the man. Help him be the Donald Miller in your fantasy.

  • Lin

    Oops. Missed the humor. Chocolate helps too though it’s not great for the hips. Definitely not a hip-helper like jazz can be. Nevermind. Enjoy your tops:)

  • Amber

    I to had another Friday night home, but at the same time I got to spend that time with my Lord! Sometime after a long week and a fun filled weekend ahead that is what I need. On the other hand to go out on a date and be treated like a Princess would be so wonderful. My heart is so in Love with God and I know he has this amazing plan for my hearts desires. So I’m not going to be sad when I’m home on a Friday night. I’m going to have a great time with my Lord.
    P.s. I will be pray that God brings us all Godly Man

    • Lina

      Ramzi – you make a really great point! We all must look beyond the outside!

      • ramzi

        well Donald is really an ugly guy. But he inspired many with his books…so he is now considered hot. Don’t fall for it. Honestly, I feel he has 2 or 3 tricks in his bag and I’ve seen them all. But what ever floats ur boat…

  • E-Dub

    I think that the ability to be at home on a Friday or Saturday night alone with no plans of any sort, especially of the dating type, is a good indicator of the level of contentment and trust a single person really has in Christ. Even after a sustained period of “nothing” (ie no dates) i still think a single person should have enough joy and peace that overrides the level of discouragement and restlessness experienced. And if not, maybe that should be the focus of self reflection and character refinement rather than wondering why he/she is dateless. I know of people that are generally pursuing godly relationships with the opposite sex, but have also shared that the thought of being home alone rather than on a date really freaks them out. I think that is a bigger issue of trust and contentment that should be addressed first prior to pursuing a relationship. This area, along with pretty much every other in life, seems to always come back to the issue of trust n unconditional contentment in Christ. Do you have it? And if so, how much you got?

  • E-Dub

    I meant to say genuinely pursuing, not generally. Ha ha.

  • Gina

    Great points everyone. My Main Man Jesus. Can anyone measure up 2 him no. Keep an open mind don’t judge a book by its cover they say. E-Dub true point one has 2 be comfortable on a Fri/sat supposed date night. I am comfortable w/ myself and doing my thing.Do I want 2 share it w/some1Who doesn’t! We need to be comfortable with ourselves, love ourselves. 1st before we can let anyonelse. Sleep well…

  • Deb

    This is too funny! I’m feeling you though!

  • Klaudia

    I’ve only been single for a year and already the Friday nights are getting old!

  • Ana-Maria

    Lina, I had to come back to read this post because I went to an advanced screening of Blue Like Jazz and Don Miller was there and the whole time I was thinking- I wonder if Lina has met him! He didn’t have a ring on his finger so he’s still “single.” He’s currently on tour for the movie and will be stopping by Chicago next week: http://www.bluelikejazzthemovie.com/tour
    You should go!!!