March 15, 2011 with 7 Comments

291.

Will there be Sex in Heaven?

If you’re a married woman, you’re hoping the answer is no. If you’re a married man, you’re not going to heaven if the answer is no. And if you’re a single Christian, you’re thinking there better be, or God is really really mean.

But I’m a scientist first and foremost, so in an effort to approach this subject scientifically, I surveyed three people with the following question: do you think there will be sex in heaven?

My mother said no.

My father said don’t.

My sister said gross.

I think it’s a legitimate question. We spend an entire lifetime thinking about it, worrying about it, hoping Jesus delays His return long enough for us to experience it, and for some lucky ones, enjoying it.

But what does the Bible say about sex in heaven?

If you’re in the anti-sex camp, you’re likely going to quote Matthew 22 or Luke 20 to me. For those of you unfamiliar with these verses, they tell a conversation between the Sadducees and Jesus. The Sadducees – who are sad you see – describe a woman who loses her husband and remarries one of his brothers 7 different times. Yes, you heard me right. So they’re wondering, which one of the brothers does she marry in the resurrection?

Jesus doesn’t fall for their trap and responds with this in Matthew 22:30 “for in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage but are like angels in heaven.”

Uh Oh. The no marriage part may be ok to most of us, but what about the no sex part?!

Hm….Sometimes I wish Jesus said just a little bit more. I guess we’ll all find out soon enough.

But maybe you’re in the “heaven without sex is really no heaven” camp. Here are some arguments in your favor.

1. Sex was created before the fall. Adam and Eve were told to enjoy the dirty before Eve went all crazy on us.  In other words, sex was created as a good thing in Eden. We have warped it into so many devious ways that the idea of a godly sexual life seems implausible. Food for thought.

2. The Song of Solomon. Have you read that book lately? I’m almost 40 years old and have seen more naked people in my line of work than I can count, but God still manages to embarrass me in the Songs. Please don’t read it out loud in public. You’re probably married and thinks it’s sexy and romantic, but keep it for the bedroom.  And don’t rub it in.

3. First miracle ever to take place was at a wedding in Cana. God loves weddings and everything that goes along with joining a man and a woman in holy matrimony. Marriage is a picture of  Jesus Christ and His bride, the church. That’s gotta say something. Or…maybe not…

I’m tempted to ask Colton Burpo what he saw on the other side over yonder, but I have a feeling God kept it PG for the little boy who wrote Heaven is for Real.

But all kidding aside, I believe C S Lewis hit the ball outta the park on this one.  Here’s what he says:

“I think our present outlook might be like that of a small boy who, on being told that the sexual act was the highest bodily pleasure should immediately ask whether you ate chocolates at the same time. On receiving the answer, No, he might regard absence of chocolates as the chief characteristic of sexuality. In vain would you tell him that the reason why lovers in their carnal raptures don’t bother about chocolates is that they have something better to think of. The boy knows chocolate: he does not know the positive thing that excludes it. We are in the same position. We know the sexual life; we do not know, except in glimpses, the other thing which, in Heaven, will leave no room for it.”

If you’re single, you can take a deep breath now. God doesn’t hate you. He’s not holding out on you. There’s better to come. If you’re married, God knows how much you love your wife, however many you’ve had. If you’re married and your sex life is in trouble, hang in there. Don’t drink from other cisterns. Turn to God in it. You may still have healing.

It really all just goes back to trust.

Do you trust God? Do you believe He is the best that there is? Do you believe He has your best in mind?

You should…after all, He gave His life for you.

And that’s just the start of a very good thing.

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  • Suzanne

    This is great! How did you know what I was thinking?

  • Denise Archambault

    I suppose the same concept then holds true for pizza in heaven…which means I get to tell my son there will be something even BETTER than pizza in heaven. I remember hearing a sermon once at some other church where the pastor said the first thing he wanted to do when he got to heaven was pay a visit to Grandpappy Lewis, a wise old man he knew from New Orleans, who he was sure he would find sitting in a rocking chair fishing (???? – hope I’m not in that neighborhood – no interest). I remember thinking “Hmmmm…maybe that won’t actually be the first thing you want to do when you actually get there.”. That’s like getting to Disneyland and saying “Well the FIRST thing I want to do is stand in this long ticket line looking at all the attractions”. Just like here on earth…when we are in the presence of Christ, there is nothing that compares and we know in that moment what our attention was created to be focused on.

  • Jen

    Funny question! I sure wish my BIL would ask you out and marry you. You would be a great crazy SIL. Well, my quick response is that God designed sex for marriage and you aren’t married in heaven. So no sex in heaven. It’s not necessary for being there.

  • Laurie Newman

    All I can say is I’m gonna pray harder for a husband for you, Lina!!! Haha!!! Just so you know, my filter wants to block all this talk about SEX… :-D

  • Milo

    There is something far better in heaven, you will not think about or want sex. Worship is the order of heaven and what a joy that would be

  • Sue

    Your first comment is so funny. I was at a Women’s Retreat in Charleston a few years ago where Chonda Pierce told older women to warn the unmarrieds about the disappointments and obligations that cause married women to, even in sex, love their husbands and die to self…. as is the case in any relationship and in many ways of interacting this side of heaven. No matter if there is or is not, heaven is going to be GREAT!
    1 Cor. 2:9 However, as it is written:
    “What no eye has seen,
    what no ear has heard,
    and what no human mind has conceived”—
    the things God has prepared for those who love him—”
    Love you Lina! Thanks for sharing even edgy thoughts with us. It gets us to think!

  • Amanda Wengert

    This post is hilarious – and very interesting. I love the Lewis quote. He’s so good at pointing out the truth: that we can be sure of one thing, that God is great and infinitely creative and won’t disappoint us when we get to heaven – even in this area.